


You Alone

by krazikrys



Category: Backstreet Boys
Genre: Christianity, Gen, Religion, Scripture References, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2020-01-15 23:48:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18509575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krazikrys/pseuds/krazikrys
Summary: Brian praying at his son's hospital bed.





	You Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this back in 2008. Think it was around the time of Baylee's diagnosis.
> 
> Don't know them. Never met them. Just love them!

Brian Littrell kneeled on the cold tile floor of his son’s hospital room. Both his son, Baylee, and his wife, Leighanne, were asleep. Both were in the bed, Leighanne curled around her son, trying to be mindful of the tubes coming from the little boy. They had been granted a private room because of their status, but their status wasn’t helping anything right now. They were waiting for the treatment to take effect. They were waiting on God to step in and help their little boy. He knew he wasn’t the only parent in the hospital praying at that moment. There were others all over the children’s hospital who were praying that their child would make it through the night, see another sunrise, or just to have another moment with them. He truly couldn’t believe that he was there.

It had started with something so simple. A fever. They initially thought he had strep throat, but that had been dismissed. Then it was hand, foot, and mouth disease. But that too had been dismissed. They had even thought it was erythema multiforme, but after a biopsy, it was determined that it wasn’t presenting in the way it should. They had done blood work, an EKG and two echocardiograms. Finally, the doctors had decided on Kawasaki’s disease.

The disease, Brian had been told, was becoming more common and it tended to affect young boys more than girls. He was told that there were approximately three thousand cases identified each year. Unfortunately, the only way to diagnose Kawasaki disease was to rule out all the other things it could be.

The next morning, Brian was having a statement released on his website as well as whatever outlet he could find, to let the fans know what was going on. It was his feeling, that if the fans knew what was going on, even a small amount, they would step up and pray for him and his family. The treatment and been intravenous immunoglobulin or an IVIG. They were just waiting for the treatment to take effect. They had been told that Baylee might be in the hospital longer to monitor his heart. They should see some improvement in the morning.

That’s why Brian was down on the floor that night. His prayer was slow in coming to him. He allowed it to be. As much as he wanted to just pray for his son, he knew that ultimately, it wasn’t just his son he was praying for.

For some reason, a song came into his mind. It was a song he had heard a bunch, “He’s My Son” by Mark Schultz. It was really the first verse of the song that was playing on his mind:

I'm down on my knees again tonight  
I'm hoping this prayer will turn out right  
See, there is a boy that needs Your help  
I've done all that I can do myself (1)

And then on top of that, he was having his own song run through his mind. The one that he had written long before Baylee had been born. It was more of the lines:

When I think of all things that God has done for me  
And how my faith has always conquered adversity (2)

How could he not believe that the Lord was going to step in and help his son and his family?

He had called his dad earlier that day and asked how he had handled when Brian had been in the hospital at Baylee’s age. He was surprised to hear his father’s answer, “I didn’t handle it all that well.” When Harold had gone on to describe how he had called their pastor late at night and the pastor had come down immediately to be with the family and to pray over Brian, Brian was shocked. He had remembered something of that. He remembered Pastor Jeff standing over him in the middle of the night, but he didn’t remember what they had done.

Harold told him that Pastor Jeff had started the prayer chain calling, then and there, at eleven o’clock at night. Harold went on to say that Brian had the whole community praying for him. And even in those dark hours when the doctors had given him no chance at living, he held on. Harold then went onto ask how his grandson was doing.

Brian filled him in on what had transpired. He also told him of the press release that was being posted the next day. “That’s good, son,” Harold replied. “You are going to have the whole world praying for him.”

“I hope so,” Brian’s voice cracked.

That was where Brian found himself that night, in Scottish Rite Children's Hospital, kneeling on the floor, glancing out the window, praying for his son. His wife and son asleep, not wanting to wake them, he prayed out loud in a whisper, something he had never found himself doing. If he did pray out loud, it was with his family, or in church altogether with the congregation. This was something he found himself doing without thinking about it. And yet, here again, he found a song lyric floating in his mind:

I was sure by now  
God You would have reached down  
And wiped our tears away  
Stepped in and saved the day (3)

And there in the darkness, he found he was praying Scripture. Slowly he lifted his eyes to look out the window. The city lights blurred through the tears that were accumulating in his eyes. He prayed the two verses out loud, slowly rising from his knees. 

“I lift up my eyes to the hills—  
where does my help come from?  
My help comes from the LORD,  
the Maker of heaven and earth.” (4)

He leaned against the cool glass, the tears streaming down his cheeks. While he rested there, trying to regain his strength, he remembered a passage from the Bible. It was the story of Jesus healing an official’s son. The phrase stuck in his head, “Your son will live.”

He looked over at the monitors. Everything was reading what the doctor’s told him was normal. He walked over slowly, not sure of his own strength. He grabbed his son’s hand and held it there as he waited.

As the morning light woke Brian, he realized that he was no longer standing. Instead, he was once again, on his knees; this time holding his son’s hand, just as he had remembered doing late in the night. He picked up his head and looked at his son. The little blonde haired boy was still asleep. Beside him, his mother still cradling the young boy was also asleep. Brian slowly got to his feet, not realizing the cramps that had developed in his legs. He decided to go for a walk, trying to clear his mind and the stiffness in his limbs. He walked up and down the hallway, not really noticing anyone. When he came back to Baylee’s room, he found both child and mother awake. Brian smiled as he entered. Another song was playing on his mind and he knew that as soon as he could get his guitar out of the car in the parking lot, he would be playing it for his son. But he knew that the words were not his own. Yet again, this would be a prayer of Scripture. It was a song he never really sang, but felt that today was definitely a day to be worshiping the Lord.

The day Baylee went home, Brian was there with his son and wife. It was three days after Brian’s midnight vigil at his son’s bed. Surprising all when they got home to their Atlanta home, Brian pulled out his guitar and pulled his son over to him on the couch. It was there that he sang the Scripture he had been praying the morning after the treatment; the morning after the Lord had stepped in and laid it on his heart that his son would live.

“Great and marvelous are your deeds,  
Lord God Almighty.  
Just and true are your ways,  
King of the ages.  
Who will not fear you, O Lord,  
and bring glory to your name?  
For you alone are holy.  
All nations will come  
and worship before you (5)

I sought the LORD, and he answered me  
and delivered me from all my fears.  
Those who look to him are radiant,  
and their faces shall never be ashamed.” (6)

###### Footnotes

(1) From the song "He's My Son" by Mark Schultz  
(2) From the song "We Lift You Up" by Brian Littrell  
(3) From the song "Praise You in this Storm" by Casting Crowns  
(4) Psalm 121:1-2, also from the song "Praise You in this Storm" by Casting Crowns  
(5) Revelations 13:3-4, also from the song "You Alone" by Brian Littrell  
(6) Pslam 34:4-5, also from the song "You Alone" by Brian Littrell


End file.
